Building Up Your Postpartum Support

In many cultures, the first 40 days of the postpartum period are considered an incredibly sacred time for the birthing parent. La Cuarentena, The Jappa, Zuo Yue Zi, Lying In. Each of these terms hold the same meaning:  a 40-day rest period following labor and birth. 40 days to rest, recover, bond with baby and allow your village of friends and family to care for you and help with day to day responsibilities. One way we can bring this ancient tradition into modern  society is to build up our postpartum support village in the prenatal period. 

When you consider who may support you in the postpartum period, ask yourself: 

• Who do I feel safe with?  
• Who can I be totally honest with?  
• Whose advice and parenting style do I trust? 
• Who will hold space for me to process complicated feelings?  
• Who will jump in and help me with anything?  

Now imagine some of the things that may be helpful in the first 40 days after birth: 

• Providing food, from snacks to full meals 
• Tidying the home, whether it’s picking up clutter or starting a load of laundry
• Holding or tending to baby or older siblings
• Simply being present and listening

Now comes the hard part, asking for help! Even though asking for help can come with feelings of inadequacy or weakness, asking for help is actually the bravest thing you can do. And the  good news is most people will be delighted and even honored to be a part of your postpartum  journey - especially if they are parents themselves. If asking for help from your friends and  family presents complexities such as trust, distance or availability, consider hiring a  Postpartum Doula. Postpartum Doulas are trained non-medical birth professionals who can take on any and all of these roles, while also bringing a wealth of knowledge about the  postpartum period, newborn care and lactation. Doulas are dedicated to serving the  postpartum parent and their needs, to facilitate rest, recovery and baby bonding. 

Whether it is your family or friends or a postpartum doula, building your postpartum support  village is an important detail to address in the prenatal period. Knowing who can support you, who you can count on and who you can call on in the postpartum period will give you  reassurance as you begin your new journey into parenthood.